E Ryan Janz Author of Boulevard Dreams
My name is Ryan Janz and I live in Anytown, USA, and I have chosen not to include my photo in my bio at this time in the abject fear I will be recognized and therefore mobbed by crazed fans. For example, say I post my picture, and let’s also say I’m walking my dog down my friendly neighborhood street, you know, Main Street, and as a result the unthinkable occurs:
I am breathlessly asked by a passing neighbor to autograph my thrilling new Noir/Private Investigator novel, Boulevard Dreams, or I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.
- My neighbor doesn’t have the book with him, or as he put it, “I’ve never heard of your stupid piece of trash and you frighten me”.
- I give him a copy I happen to be carrying in my wheel barrel.
- My neighbor is hesitant in believing I wrote the book.
- I produce my driver’s license for proof of my authorship, careful to place my thumb over my picture because I do not wish to be recognized and therefore mobbed by crazed fans.
- My neighbor threatens to call the police.
- My dog insists we hastily return home, and as we do, I lower my baseball cap across my face because I do not wish to be recognized and…etc.
- I hear police sirens and as I hide below the trap door in my basement my dog decides to move out.
- While living under my basement and reading a handy book on chock full of fun survival techniques, it occurs to me I don’t own a dog.
- Having read how baked rat can easily be transformed into a healthy snack while overthrowing the government, I hear a dog howling in the distance, reminding me it’s time once again to collect my wheel barrel and join my dog for a pleasant walk down Main Street, USA